Desperate

In my quest to become free from my addiction, this song has been one that I come back to constantly.  Especially when I am down and think I have fallen too far from grace.  I identify with this writer, a man who wants to be free but gives in to temptation at times.  The inner torment that occurs when he fails is what I go through on my worst days.  Nevertheless, my heart is desperate for His grace, for His strength and for the freedom that only comes through Him.

Enjoy (Artist: Lecrae)

Woke up this morning too depressed and shamed to leave my bed

Can’t stand to see my own reflection so I hang my head

Feel like a disappointment, like the scum of the earth

I’m so hurt I know You see I can’t cover my dirt

My soul’s dying, heart’s weak, I can’t even cry

I’m supposed to run to You but why, I’m such an evil guy

The sun’s shinin’ but for me it’s the darkest of days

Try to pretend it never happened but the guilt remains

I leave the house it feels like everybody knows I did it

Feels like they readin’ my mind and know the sin I committed

Through your blood I’m acquitted but my heart doesn’t get it

Oh God I’m desperate for help cause I’m grievin’ Your Spirit

I couldn’t sing in Sunday service, Lord I felt fake

And when they started communion I just made an escape

I’m in need of Your grace, feels like You hid Your face

Lead me back to cross and show me my sin’s erased

Chorus:  I’m so desperate

I can’t believe I sinned against You

Create in me a clean heart

I’m so sorry

It’s Your mercy

It’s what I need, it’s what I need

I’m waste deep in my pity, is Satan tryna trick me

And tell me You won’t forgive me, cause it’s startin’ to get me

Jesus help me quickly, I hate the wrong I’ve done

I know we all fall but I feel like the only one

Feels like I should be shunned, should I punish myself?

I know it’s dumb cause by Your death all my sin has been dealt

But my sin has been felt, I didn’t want to do it

But what I want to do I don’t, I swear I’m goin’ through it

Try to open up my Bible, I need to read Your pages

I need You Lord, but my guilt has got me feelin’ so faithless

Help me see where grace is, take me back to the basics

Help me find my joy in You and not people and places

My sin is ever before me, I turned my back on You

Oh Father break and restore me to bring me back to You

My sin is ever before me, I turned my back on You

God break and restore me to bring me back to You

Chorus:  I’m so desperate

I can’t believe I sinned against You

Create in me a clean heart

I’m so sorry

It’s Your mercy

It’s what I need, it’s what I need

Have mercy on me God, according to Your steady love

Wipe away my transgressions and wash me in Your blood

Create in me a clean heart, renew a right spirit

Don’t hide Your face from me, God, Your presence, keep me near it

I’m waitin’ patient on You Lord, I know You hear my cry

Restore Your joy in me, for You alone I live and die

It’s You I glorify cause You don’t want my sacrifice

You want me broken and contrite, trustin’ in the Christ

I confess to You my sin and You show me mercy

I turn away from it demonstratin’ that You are worthy

Over lust, over pride, over all sin

Is my affection for Jesus who died for all them

I was lost now I’m found, I was tossed to the ground

My sin weighed on me heavy but I’m no longer bound

As sure as Christ wears the crown, I know that grace will abound

And even when I feel lost I know in You I am found

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