Now, for the first time many years, I am trying to confront my emotions. I have been running from them for so many years and now It seems that I can no longer hide from them. Quite frankly I’m scared. I don’t know what’s going to happen. I know that it already hurts.
My only comfort, and it is only slight, is that I believe that whatever happens, God will be there. But I sense that he will not spare me from the coming pain.
The scariest part is that I don’t even know what’s coming. I have no idea what I will have to face. There are parts inside me that if not dead already, are nearly so. Parts of my soul that have been abused, neglected and forgotten. I sense that those parts are coming back and demanding that I give them proper attention lest they drag all of me down forever. An ultimatum saying, “either revive us or you die too”.