Category Archives: Life Encouragement

Solitude

Journal from July 28 2013

This is a rare look inside my personal journal.

The following is a rare glance into my personal journal.  As I wrote these words I felt that I should share them.  But I could not share them last night lest I ruin the solitude that I had gained by shutting off this machine.  Enjoy!

July 26, 2013

Tonight I watched “The Hobbit” based on The Hobbit by J. R. R. Tolkien.  It reminded me of times past when honor, courage and dignity were valuable.  A time when one had to go out into the world to see it.  Amid all the noise technology brings into our lives is a faint call to shelter ourselves from it.  The call is faint because of the noise…because we choose that noise.  Distraction is the god of our time.  Where, oh where is the solitary places.  Where is our sanctuary?

July 28, 2013

I continue my thoughts from my last entry.  This night I spent the last hours watching another movie, “Lincoln”.  As I watched, I was reminded of the cost of all good and worthy things.  What I noticed was the resolve of a man guided by his principles and not by his popularity.  Another thing that I noticed in this movie that seemed to have been precious to Lincoln was solitude.  I know that this is an artist representation of what the Lincoln’s days leading up to the passage of the 13th Amendment might have looked like and I presume that this representation may be fairly accurate.  What was shown in the movie is that Lincoln valued time without company, without distraction, solitude.  Times when deep reflection was necessary and when important decisions must be weighed carefully, those times seemed to be the ones where this man (according to the movie) sought out solitude.

As I view it solitude is nourishment to our souls.  Something many of us rarely provide to ourselves.  Time alone, I think is not enough though.  I think time alone free from any distraction is the proper combination for the nourishment we need.   A time where we free ourselves from entertainment, from daily responsibility and tend to ourself.  The faint call I mentioned in my previous entry can often only be heard in the quite and in solitude.  Jesus also sought out such solitude when he faced his most challenging problems.

Tonight, as my mind wandered, I moved my body from my bed and to my desk with no computer in front of me.  In the quite dark office I sat, lit a candle, opened my journal and recorded my thoughts.  By candle light, with paper in front of me and my favorite fountain pen in hand, I enjoyed solitude.  I enjoyed for a moment what I imagine it must have been like to write in the dead of night hundreds of years ago.

Peace.

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Do You Know Him?

This video is of Joe White speaking to the Promise Keepers in 2003. I share videos of him because his message is powerful and in my opinion his message matches what God’s word says. He, like me, believes that the Bible teaches something that many churches fail to. He teaches that faith is not cheap. No where can you find in Jesus work that He requires nothing of us for salvation. If you read what He says when speaking to the crowds and even to His own disciples, he requires much. Faith requires action. This is often difficult for Christians who have been taught that when you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord that you inherit salvation. But where people fail, and I was subject to this failure for so long, is that we do not really know what it means to confess and believe.

First, the word in the Bible from the New Testament for believe and believer is pisteuo. It was used 209 times and means to believe, put one’s faith in, trust, with an implication that actions based on that trust may follow. (Strongs, 4409, p.1583). When the Bible speaks on being a believer, this is the word that is used. (For more on this word click here).

It is a tragic misfortune that is in this country today. That most evangelism teaches that faith and belief and salvation is cheap and easy and costless. And so many of us in this arena has been sold a half deal. The road is come one way. God has given everything for us and so we’ve said God thank you for that, I’ll take that. But the road has never gone back to heaven. Where we turn it around and we say, God because you have given everything to me, by God’s grace I’m gonna give everything to you. It’s a two way road! That’s what belief is. And that’s what the thief had. Because that belief men, is a true, final, daily walk with the holy spirit and a daily walking relationship with Jesus Christ.

Men we don’t need another christian pep talk today. That will fire you up to go out and live a better life for the next three weeks of your life. What we need men is what our president pleaded for when he committed our brave troops to Iraq. We need cardiac revolution. We need a change of leadership in our heart. That’s the issue tonight men! It’s who’s in the lead in your heart. Who’s in the lead in your heart. That’s what belief is. That’s where faith resides. Romans 10:9-10 said if we confess with our mouth that Jesus is lord (Lord means that your submissive. Lord means that you come to him on your knees saying, Jesus I will follow you with my life) That’s what confession is Lord means. And it says if you believe in your heart…So many of us believe in our head. James 2:19 says the demons believe and tremble. It’s not about acknowledging that God died on the cross. It’s talking about faith in our heart that changes your life. The only way I know how to describe this incredible form of belief is the words of Bob Morehead. Actually an American pastor but the words found their way across the ocean into a little tiny hut apparently of a young Zimbabwe paster. And this Zimbabwe paster who had heard those words took his knife, just before he was overrun…just before he was martyred for his faith…this young committed pastor who understood what it means to be a believer. He took his knife and carved these words in the door of his little hut before he was overrun and martyred for his faith.

He said “I am a proud part of the fellowship of the unashamed. I have the holy spirit’s power. The die has been cast. The decision has been made. I stepped across the line. I’m a disciple of his. I will not look back, let up, slow down, back up, or be still. I am done, I am finished with low living, side walking, smooth knees. Colorless dreams, tame visions, and dwarf goals. I no longer need preeminence prosperity, promotion, or applause and popularity. I do not have to be right, first, top, praised, recognized, regarded, or rewarded. I now live by faith, live in his power, lean on his presence, walk with patience, and labor with love. My face is set, my gate is fast, my goal is heaven, my road is narrow, my way is rough, my confainurs are few. My guide is reliable, my visions are clear. I cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, diluted or delayed. I will no longer flench in the face of persecution, hesitate in the presence of my enemies, pander in the pool of popularity or meander in the maze of mediocrity. I will not give up, let up, shut up, until I have stayed up, stored up, paid up, prayed up, peaced up for the cause of Christ. I’m a disciple of Jesus! I will go until he comes. I will preach until all know. I will give until I drop. And He…when He comes for his own will have no problem recognizing me, my banner is clear!”

Is your banner clear tonight? It’s not about is He given his life for you. It’s all about are giving your life for him. It’s not about…is God on your side…He is! We were in a prison the other day and murderers and thieves and serial rapists and all were coming to Christ by the hundreds. It’s not about is He on your side…He is on your side! It’s all about are you on His side! It’s not about is his name written in your book. It’s all about is your name written in His book. It’s not about do you call yourself a Christian, men…It’s about does He call you a Christian. It’s not about do you have a file in your filing cabinet of your heart labled Jesus. It comes out every Sunday morning, and every maybe even Wednesday and every Easter and Christmas. It’s all about does he own the whole entire filing cabinet of your heart. Does He own it all? That’s what it is to give your life to Christ and experience what the Bible calls salvation.

Do you know him?

Do you know Him? It’s a marital term men. Do you know him? It’s a marital term…it’s intimacy. It’s a double relationship where one gives his life for the other and the other gives his life for the other.

Do you truly know Him? Will it be Mathew 7:21 where Jesus says on the last day many will come and say to me Lord Lord? It’s not a wide gate. He said it’s a narrow gate.


The Struggle of Sexual Sin

Porneia

Defining the Problem:  What is Sexual Sin?

In my opinion there are two different ways to answer this question depending on your world view.  The first is that sexual sin is whatever your culture says it is.  For example, in the United States we are becoming more and more accepting of sexual behavior that once was deemed wrong such as premarital sex or homosexuality.  It is becoming less of a “social sin” to engage in those behaviors in our culture.   The other way to answer the question is through God’s word which is my perspective.  I view the Bible as God’s word and the truth.  That is where I find answers about what sexual sin is. Sexual sin is any form of sex, sexual longing, sexual passion that exists outside of the confines of marriage between a man and a woman.  Jesus says in Matthew 5:28:

“But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

This sums up what the commandment in Exodus really means, “You shall not commit Adultery” (Exodus 20:14 NIV) .  Adultery is synonymous with sexual sin.  I am, and perhaps all of us are, guilty of adultery in Jesus eyes.  Some spend more time lusting than others. The greek words for sexual sin used in the Bible are these:

  • Porneia:  Sexual immorality, fornication, marital unfaithfulness, prostitution, adultery, a generic term for sexual sin of ANY kind.
  • Porneuo:  To commit sexual immorality of ANY kind
  • Porne:  Prostitue, a woman who practices sexual immorality for payment.
  • Pornos:  One who is sexually immoral (male or female).

The way that sexual sin is described by Jesus and the words used in the new testament that describe sexual immorality causes tension in our lives.  The tension comes from the world that we live in.  Our world is one of constant sexual persuasion.  Everywhere we look we are lured in by sexual images and word phrases that carry with them sexual connotations.  To be free from sexual sin is to disrupt those sexual advances that are constantly bombarding us and redirect them in ways that honor God.  In other words, we have to let Jesus interfere in our daily lives so that we can overcome those temptations.  That interference is exactly what must happen a man’s heart in order to find freedom from sexual sin. Notice that I did’t say freedom from sexual temptation.

Sexual temptation, as much as I hate to say it, will never go away.  That is the world we live in.  If we look in scripture we learn that this is not a new problem for men.  It has been a part of our struggle since the early accounts in scriptures. If you doubt me then do a search for biblical references to sexual immorality.  What you will find is that it’s one of the most warned against and dangerous sins mentioned in the Bible.  In 1 Corinthians 6:18 Paul says:

“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.” (NIV) The message says it like this “Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.”

So lets look at this in the context of how it affects our body: William Struthers, a biopsychologist and more importantly a christian, wrote a book called Wired for Intimacy.  In it he describes the neurological impact that sexual immorality has on our brain.  Porn acts on our brain chemically the same way that Cocaine and Heroin does.  He says that “[p]ornography and our response to it alters our brain in a way that is difficult to undo.  Pornography is the consumption of sexual poison that becomes part of the fabric of the mind” (Struthers, 201x, pg. 20).  This relates back to what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 6:18 when he said that it is the only sin that acts against our body.  When we view pornography, or lust after a woman, we set in motion a neurological freight train.  We lay down what Struthers calls neurological super highways that expedites our sexual arousal.  It quickly becomes so efficient that when we look at a woman that is attractive to us, it becomes nearly automatic for sexual impulse and lust to take over and it is difficult to go in a different direction.  So that is what sexual sin, specifically pornography, does to our bodies, to our mind.

Finding our way to Freedom

This article is not just about how it affects us physically but more importantly how we overcome it spiritually.  This is where the textbook discussion ends and where our stories come in.  We start with my story, my sexual addiction.  I have been involved and addicted to pornography now since I was very young.  I think I was as young as 11.  Maybe older by a year or two.  What matters is that I was young.  I grew up looking at porn and as I grew, my appetite for it grew with me.  It became such a part of me that my moment-to-moment thoughts were laced with sexual acts.  Normal, everyday situations became stimulus for further sexual thought.  Normal circumstances always seemed to have some sexual link.  I could look at a textured wall and somehow find something that would set my mind off into a depraved and sexually saturated mental fantasy.   I could not look at women and see them in any other light than how they could offer me pleasure.  My mind became completely and utterly depraved.  I could not sit down at a computer alone and keep my fingers from typing in all the familiar links to my favorite sexual buffets.  There was no way for my day to be complete without feeding my sexual desire.  My life was completely and utterly devoted to it.  It was my life…it was my God.

So now that I have allowed my mind to be so focused on these things for so long, I have to fight that much harder everyday to move my mind into “right thinking”.  These terms like “right thinking”, “change your mind”, “renewal of the mind”, were so difficult for me to grasp.  What do those mean anyway?  I had tried to just quit looking.  To decide not to look.  But what I did not know is that I had physically and chemically rewired myself to do exactly that which I did not want to do.  I literally short-circuited my brain so that it has become extremely difficult to see normally.  To see things as God wanted me to see them.

What did I do?  First I tried to pray the prayers.   I would be down on my knees asking God to take away the temptation and desire.  Then I would find my self going straight from my kneeling position at the foot of the bed in the hotel room to the desk with an open laptop and being whisked away into porn seconds after I prayed those desperate prayers.  I began to ask why God refused to give me the power of Jesus Christ through which I could, supposedly, do all things.  Then one day He revealed to me the reason why those particular prayers were never answered (He actually answered the prayer, just not the way I wanted Him to).  He wants me to choose a side.  He has come as far as he can.  If he came any further, then he would remove my free will.  He wants me to make a decision.  He wants to truly know where I stand.

Armed with the knowledge that 1 Corinthians is true and that this sin physically alters my mind and with the knowledge that in order for me to really find freedom in Christ, I must make clear choices in the direction of Him, I can now fight.  I now know what I must fight for.  And that is what we have to do.  We have to fight.  We are spiritual warriors.  Scripture tells us that we are.  One of the reasons that we must fight is so that we can then fight for others.

How do we become free from sexual sin?  How do we keep ourselves from entering into it?  We become connected to God through his Word.  When we find out what he says about it, we understnand the consequences and find the motivation to run away.   This is what I have to do to remain sober.  That is the answer to the question of how to deal with porn.  There is no magic, at least not for me.  I have to make the choice.  It is a hard choice to make many days because I know the feelings that I can experience if I go down the road with sexual sin.  It feels good…in the moment.  The power resides in your decision.  God will not decide for you on who your master will be.  In Romans Paul talks to us about this.  He says:

“…Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness?  But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you have come to obey from your heart the pattern of teaching that has now claimed your allegiance.  You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.” (Romans 6:16, NIV)

When we chose to look lustfully at a woman, have an affair, visit a prostitute or whatever way we lead ourselves into sexual sin, we choose to obey our master of sexual sin.  We choose that.  But we become free by choosing to obey a different master.   We have to choose a new pattern and that pattern is found in His word.  That is how we renew our mind as it says in Romans 12:2 where it says:

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.  Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (NIV)

When we begin to digest God’s word and trust in the truth of it, we can find the motivation to become obedient to Christ.  We begin to understand that the renewal of our minds means that we choose to reshape our patterns and that by doing so we are performing our true and proper worship. I am telling you today that if you do not pull yourself out of this sin and work with sincerity to remain free, that despite what you say with your mouth, your heart is far from God.  It matters what we do.  It matters.  God knows the sincerity of our hearts and for the longest time I was fooling myself by saying that I was trying to get clean, but in reality I was finding an excuse through grace to continue in my way.  Jesus knows this and it is a dangerous place to be…especially for Christians.

We have hope in this, we will find freedom when we are willing and we sincerely seek Him.  We may at times fail, but we come back with an honest heart.  We must be real with ourselves and know our weaknesses.  And when those weaknesses are revealed to us and to our accountability partners, then we can put up armour to protect ourselves. What does this armor look like?

  • God’s Word:

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.  Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.  For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.  Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.  Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.  In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.  Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” (Ephesians 6:10-17 NIV)

  • Accountability
    • Men you trust who you give permission to tell you when you are going wrong.
      • Ravi Zacharias, Character Counts Part 2 Podcast March 23, 2013:  Speaking on Wisdom, specifically from the only of the kings that did not call upon the wisdom of the prophets – King Solomon
        • “Ladies and Gentlemen my application from Solomon’s life is this…make sure your passions are tamed and one of the ways towards taming them is have somebody in your life who has the authority to challenge you when they see you going wrong. Have a friend to whom you are accountable. Who can look you in the eye and say with all of my respect and love for you and because of my love for you, I want you to know you are playing a dangerous game out here back off!”
  • Fellowship
    • Honest discussion with other believers
    • Bringing sexual sin out into the light

These are the things that I relay on to keep walking in purity.  When I take my eyes of of God’s word and remove my self from daily and sometimes moment-to-moment prayer, I quickly find myself in danger.

Take this seriously!  Let Jesus interfere with your life.  That is what He wants for us.  He wants us to be Holy, to be separate from the way the world does things.  We must be different to be free!


God Tests Our Faith

Armed for the Test

The Bible is scattered with stories where God calls his people, raises them, prepares them and watches them grow.  Then he tests them.  One of the times that God did this is back in Genesis when he asked for Abraham to offer his son Isaac as a burnt offering to God.  No doubt this would have put Abraham in great distress.  As a father myself, I can’t even imagine the anguish I would feel if God came  to me and asked me to kill my son to prove my faithfulness to HIm.  Yet this is what He did with Abraham.

This scene is one filled with intense drama.  Imagine it.  Your walking through the wilderness with your only boy who trusts you completely.  He speaks up and he asks you, “dad where we going?”  Then you answer with just enough information to satisfy his curiosity and so he follows.  He is carrying on his back the wood that his lifeless body would be burnt up with just after you cut his throat.

Imagine the feeling this father must have felt knowing that he was leading his son to death all the while grumbling in his heart asking God why….why are you taking my child from me?

Once reaching that place where the alter should be built, you begin to construct an alter by placing stones in a certain fashion working side by side with your young boy.  You instruct him on how to build a good alter, all the while fighting back the emotion and the tears.

As the altar nears completion you ask your son to bring the wood.   The knees that carried you to this place are now trembling and weak and you feel sick because of what you must now do, betray the trust of the innocent and take his life.  In a hasty moment you grab him and you bind his arms and legs so he cannot move.  With a torrent of tears in your eyes you cry and your body shakes as you do this thing that God has commanded you to do.  “Dad why are you doing this to me, your hurting me” he screams.  Finishing the ties and placing him on the alter you continue sobbing uncontrollably, wishing that death would take you before your hands had completed their work.

In one last breath you place your arm around your boy as you move the knife into position to cut his throat, looking deep into his watery eyes your muscles tighten and you prepare to swiftly and deeply make your cut and in that moment…..life stands still, your heart goes numb.

I imagine God shouting at that moment so loud that it caused the ground to shake!  “STOP”

“Do not lay a hand on the boy,” he said. “Do not do anything to him.” (Genesis 22:12 NIV)

Though this is my imagination working while reading this scripture, I want to picture God standing there with a fierce seriousness and concern on his face and with heavy breath causing to stop what was about to happen.  Then he speaks again:

“Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son.” (Genesis 22:12 NIV)

How powerful right?  To what higher level could a mans loyalty be tested than to be required to kill one of his children, his boy?  I can imagine none!

My father’s words are in my mind as I write this, words that I will never forget so long as I breath on this earth.  “You are my diamonds” he would say to my brother and I.  When we were sick he would always say, “I wish I could take your place”.  His heart hurt when we hurt and he longed to take that hurt from us.  I feel the same way about my children and I imagine Abraham felt the same way too.  God could not have asked this man to do anything more difficult.

So what is my point?  The point is that God is not satisfied with words alone and empty proclamations of faith.   Faith that is lukewarm is detestable to God.  If Abraham’s faith was lukewarm he never would have made the journey to offer his son and his heart would have been known.  If you are proclaiming to be a Christian, be prepared for tests of your faith.  You will be tested.

These tests however do much more than prove to God that he is great.  They become the base of our souls, the very foundation.  You hear it time and again when people are trying to break free from their addictions that they must first hit rock bottom before they can find solid footing for recovery.  In the same way here, the tests of God often bring us to our rock bottom.   That is where God builds his warriors.  When we stop trying to support a life with twigs and allow God to build a proper foundation upon the Rock, then we can be elevated to great heights and remain strong against the winds of this world.

“Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father?” (Hebrews 12:7)

God disciplines the one’s he loves.  But why discipline?  We often associate this word as a consequence for doing something wrong.  The word here means to instruct, train and educate.  So if we were to rewrite this in context we may read it like this:

“Endure hardship as training; God is treating you as his children.  For what children are not trained by their father? (interpretation based on the greek word Paideuo, which is the word used here)

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” (James 1:2-3 NIV) (As you read the scripture in James, know that “testing” in this context means proving.  The greek word for testing is dokimion which means “proved genuine”.)

What is this perseverance then that James speaks of?  It is a history of success for us.  It is our confidence that no matter what this life throws our way, whether it be God’s tests or trials that come because of the work of the evil one, we will be prepared.

As with anyone who goes off to battle I say remain armed for battle at all times, do not drop your guard.  Be ready.  With this armor, God’s armor given to all his warriors we can withstand our trials and endure the tests of our faith:

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.  Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.
Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.
In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.
Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.  And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.
With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.”  (Ephesians 6:10-18 NIV)

Writing and the Negative Friends

Writers block story

I want to write something that you will absolutely love.  So far I have had more false starts than you can imagine and many free advice givers would likely tell me that I should do something else.  I can’t get writing off of my mind which probably means that I should write.  The problem is that some of my friends don’t want me to.  Their reasons vary but the result is the same…for me to run away thinking that I could never be good enough.

One day when I was a young man, I ran across a kid named Confidence.  I saw his personality just a few times and I tried to copy it.  When I did it gave me bursts of successes.  It felt so good to be like this kid, even though I didn’t know much about him.  But a group of influential people were lurking not to far away.  They shouted to me one day after seeing me acting like Confidence.  One of them yelled, “Hey, do you want to be like everyone else or do you want to be unpopular like Confidence is?”  Despite the good feeling I had when I acted like confidence, I was much more like these other guys so they became my friends.

Mr. Writer’s Block is one of those friends.  He has been very effective in helping me come up with no ideas so that I can’t write them down and fulfill my desire two write.   I’d like to introduce the rest of my friends too.   Meet Doubt.  Doubt is a friend who never leaves me alone.  Doubt worries all the time that I will once again run into Confidence.  He explains to me there are an endless number of positive things which may happen to me if I meet that kid, so Doubt keeps me safe from him.  Doubt also works closely with Mr. Writers Block so that if he fails, Doubt is right there to tell me that the idea I am about to write down is not really good enough.  The others are Insecurity, Fear, Procrastination, his close cousin Ineffective, and last but certainly not least, Mr. Negative.   Fear’s right hand man is insecurity.  Fear is pretty good at his job in life and keeps his buddy Insecurity in line all the time since he can never decide which way he wants to go.  When they are around I am afraid to write.   Fear tells me that if I do write that no one will like it or someone might ridicule me.  Insecurity just whispers in my ear constantly saying that I’m not good enough so why bother.

Procrastination and his close cousin Ineffective are great teammates!  Really its quite awesome to see these two in action.  Like two soldiers looking after one another in battle, procrastination works the fields ahead of Ineffective so that he can be successful.  These two are very sneaky.  Before you know it they have laid the foundations of  getting absolutely nothing done.  Great role models!

At Last Mr. Negative.  If the other’s don’t get the job done in our group, this guy drives us all back to our center.  He has a very loud voice and his words are very persuasive.  Once I remember the guy asking me this question, “if it is hard being in the negative family where nothing gets done, then think of how hard it would be to be in the Confidence family where they are always getting things done”?  How could I argue with him, after all it seems logical.  Mr. Negative tells me that there is nothing worth my time over there with the positives.

These people have been instrumental in my life.  Very loyal friends.  They have been with me almost every step of the way so I find it very difficult to betray them and attempt relationships outside our group.

I have recently been spending more time with the Confidence family though.  It hasn’t been easy because all of my old friends keep calling, asking me to give them some time.  But when I am with the Confidence family I feed on their energy and want to spend more time with them.  When I’m with them I write and I love it!  The funny thing is that being with the Confidence family really isn’t all that hard.  In fact, its a much easier and rewarding life.  So I am going to be giving this new family much more of my time and who knows, maybe someday with their help I may be able to say goodbye to my old friends for good!